Don’t bother with a funeral
It is a ceremony of old
The one we’ve clung to longest
It’s so hard to break the mould
Traditional Christenings and Weddings
Have moved on with passing time
Some have let go of the old ways
Knowing their absence is no crime
For God is not only in a church
Or wherever we go to pray
All-That-Is lives in our hearts
And Omnipresent, every day
Why put people through the agony
Of saying a last goodbye?
Producing memories of sadness
That linger and make us cry
Their passing causes enough pain
So why create even more?
Especially as they live on
The other side of a locked door
The door is locked to us for now
But one day we will have the key
And be united through our love
Together again, our ‘eyes’ will see
When our coats are worn and old
We all just easily throw them away
The body is just an overcoat we wear
Containing our Spirit, for our Earthly stay
Duty and respect are words we use
Keeping people locked in, to follow rules
It’s time to let go of past reasons
And follow our heart, to where it pulls
If we didn’t visit them much in life
Why do we haste to say goodbye?
Maybe guilt and regret play a part
‘Paying Respect’ a fitting white lie
Beautiful flowers adorn the box
Where our overcoat is laid to rest
But in life did we give them flowers?
When they can enjoy them, is truly best
So don’t bother with my funeral
No need for ceremony to say goodbye
Love me as in life, as I love you
And in death, I’ll wait to say ‘Hi’
Oh please, I do not want a ceremony
I’ve just got rid of my overcoat
I’m free now to be omnipresent
Into your thoughts I will easily float
I mean it truly, don’t give me a funeral
My dearest ones, I love you and truly care
Remember the happy times that we shared
And know, for you I will always be there
Trina Graves – 27th April 2016
About This Poem
I’m not too sure why I felt the need to write this poem, I guess it just brought together my thoughts and feelings on funerals.
I personally believe…
If you are a flower-giver, they should be given to people while they are able to enjoy their beauty, I think it’s crazy to spend lots of money on elaborate arrangements for funerals, especially if you never gave the person flowers when they were alive. Flowers would be better off sent to the ones who are grieving to brighten up their home and show them they are being thought of.
Everyone should talk of their life stories to family and friends, it’s so much more personal and memorable to hear them from the actual person, than words spoken by another at a sad time.
The people we love should hear our words of love, respect and thankfulness while they are alive. Although I know they can also hear them when they are passed, we should all let them know they are loved and appreciated NOW.
Empty bodies do not need ornate boxes, elaborate vehicles for conveying or any other of the trappings of funerals. They do not need to be buried and visited. If cremated, it matters not what is done with the ashes.
I know most people would not agree with all of my thoughts, and I greatly respect whatever theirs are. As with everything in life, we live and die by our own choices.
My dad is in his 80’s and my mum will be 80 later this year. When I visit my parents and they mention anything about dying or their thoughts on their funerals, they are always apologizing for talking of such things. I constantly tell them I am happy to discuss this topic and don’t think of it as something we shouldn’t talk about. Only this last week both of them changed some of their wishes, so I guess it is something we continue to adapt as we go through life, however long we are blessed to be here.
At the moment, my wishes are for my empty body to be cremated as soon as possible with no coffin and no attendance from my loved ones. I like the idea of giving my loved ones a video of my favourite quotes and poems (including some of mine!) words of love and appreciation for the part they played in my life, photographs and my favourite uplifting songs, so I am working on that. I do not want a funeral service, but if my loved ones want to have a gathering, it is up to them. And hopefully (if I am blessed to have completed it in time!) they will have my choice of music and words to reflect upon!