I Am Not What Happened To Me

Title Quote: Carl Jung

We all like to hear the stories
Of those whose start in life
Is full of negative experiences
Neglect, death, worry and strife
Of course, that’s not the part we love
Compassion for them fills our heart
It’s how they have risen to achieve
In their life, with such a bad start

Why is it that some with no home
Or parents to support them with love
Grow up escalating their negative world
Life for them is all push and shove
But others with just the same life
Will seek to develop a family
Becoming a parent they shine so bright
Radiating so much love, we all can see

Disease and death can come at any time
We have no defence to make it stop
For those who lose a baby or child
Devastation will make their heart drop
Why do some never surmount their loss
Maybe taking to addictions to fill the gap
Others, though never letting go of the love
Will see growth and experience unwrap

With the focus in the news on negative
There are always crimes to be found
So much violence is displayed
Our Spirit sinks to the ground
Some victims focus on the hurt
Revenge filling them with hate
Others learn compassionate wisdom
Helping others becomes their fate

The stories that many like to hear
Are of people with no change to spare
But rise to triumph through it all
Pointing the way, experience they share
J. K. Rowling is a well-known example
Of the fairytale of rags to riches
By doing the thing she loved
Writing stories of wizards and witches

Some learn to navigate the darkness
Guided by the Light of someone they love
Others find faith in their religion
Being linked to their Source up above
Friends, mentors, guides near and far
Can help so called ‘victims’ reach out
Knowing they are not ever alone
Helps bring positive change about

I believe what makes a difference
Is the attitude these people take
Some limit themselves by focusing
On what made their hearts break
Others will use their experiences
To know that’s not who they are
It’s just a situation of life
To grow from, their aim is far

Everyone of us has to face problems
Maybe not at the start, but in time we see
A myriad of ways things arise
It’s part of life, we have to be
Knowing that things will change
No matter what comes our way
Everything in life can be learned from
And nothing will permanently stay

Think of difficult times as growth
Seeds planted in your life all around
You will get through it some day
And flowers of wisdom will be found
Instead of ’Why is this happening to me?’
Think of ’What is this trying to teach?’
Be positive as much as possible
And a happier life you’ll soon reach

‘I Am Not What Happened To Me
I Am What I Choose To Become’
For no matter the trial and test
You are truly the only one
To change what you think and believe
Even little steps each and every day
Will change your life for the better
It’s down to what you think, do and say

Trina Graves – 24th July 2018

About This Poem

This was the third poem I wrote the other day, but after writing it I had doubts that I would ever share it. My feelings were: Who am I to tell people how to get through bad times when I have not gone through what they have? Yes, I have had problems in my life, but I am very well aware that they are nowhere near as bad as others face. So, I just thought I’d file it away. 

However, Source/Universe/Law of Attraction (or whatever you want to call it) had another plan! And this one totally blew me away and so clearly told me to use this poem, no matter my doubts!

It was after I had got the first poem all ready to post with the story of how synchronicity had given me the idea of what to write about it. With it all ready to go, I went to check my emails and had one from Netflix about a new film just added called Breathe.  I read the write up and thought I knew the name of the main character, so I read some more and Googled the film to see if it was who I thought.

In 1962 until 1972 (aged 1 to 11) my family lived in a very small village (Drayton St Leonard, Oxfordshire) next door to my father’s parents. I was close to my grandmother and I know I am very much like her. It was truly a blessing that we lived so close for those early years as she died when I was seven. However, before this she worked for a family who lived in a large house in the village. She loved her job as Housekeeper and Cook, being an excellent cook due to spending her younger years in service. The family often had guests visit at weekends so she was kept busy feeding them all. I have memories of going to see her and hanging around waiting for her to finish work! Other fond memories are of going to a  fundraising fete hosted by this family in their grounds, and another open day where we could all use their swimming pool. Being so young I don’t remember personally interacting with the family, but I do remember happy smiling faces, even though the father of the family was in a wheelchair and couldn’t move. His name was Robin Cavendish.

The film was about the family and of how when Robin contracted polio at 28, he was paralyzed from the neck down and not given long to live, he could not breathe without artificial help so was doomed to spend the rest of his short life in hospital. However, he and his wife Diana had other ideas, and he went home to live out what was to be a long life! (He died aged 64). Not only was he to become one of the longest living responauts, but he became a tireless advocate for disabled people. He and a friend (Teddy Hall) created the wheelchair that enabled him to lead a life out of bed, he raised money to provide chairs for others like him and went on to help create numerous other devices to provide independence to paralyzed people. He also travelled the world to inspire others and was made an MBE in 1974. (an award given by the Queen for outstanding service). A truly remarkable man!

I was blown away with the timing of receiving this email, about a film just added, of someone I knew when I was younger, who my grandmother worked for, and was a perfect example of what I was trying to convey! As it is from such a long time ago, it was definitely not something on my mind when writing, but now I do wonder about all the significance of the little things in life that we are part of, and the way they instill learning messages into us!

With this outstanding synchronicity I took it as a blessing to share this poem. I also knew that somewhere I had a photograph of the family, as I had scanned many of my mothers photos into my computer. I have thousands of family photos, but very rarely do I keep any of people who are not related, I am pretty sure that this is the only one from my younger years. Whenever I have a sorted through my files – not very often, I must admit – I always wondered why I would never delete this one! And now I know!!!

By the way, I watched the film that evening and thought it was a wonderfully inspiring story. The only thing I knew of that was not portrayed correctly was that the house was IN the village and looked so much better than the one in the film! You can see it in the picture below.

Robin & Diana Cavendish with their son Jonathan
at fayre
My mum and brothers at fete in the Cavendish’s gardens (I think 1965)

28th July 2018
Since adding this post, I have had a long conversation with my mum about the movie and her memories of this time. She told me that my nan (Evelyn) really loved working for the family, and that she knew (from Evelyn) that the devotion portrayed in the film is 100% true. Evelyn also developed a great friendship with the Nanny (who is in the film). Also, when Jonathan (the son) went to boarding school, although the Nanny was no longer needed, a bungalow was built in the grounds for her to live in.

4 thoughts on “I Am Not What Happened To Me

  1. Oh WOW! Dear Trina: What a beautiful poem indeed! I also saw the film and it touched my heart. What a especial family that could transmute a “misfortune” into something so special that united friends and family, and inspired so many in this world!
    I am amazed that you had this experience of “being there” and seeing it all with your own eyes. Beautiful picture of your mum and cute brothers! Thank you for sharing!!!!
    I look forward to sharing this poem soon!!! Love and Light, Amira ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • I am glad you liked the poem Amira, as I was unsure about this one, but of course had to share with what followed. It is a very inspirational story and so wonderful that his son has shared it in this way as it will go on to inspire many more, for years to come! We need more of these types of films on TV, I know you will agree! 🙂
      I added the other photo to show the house for anyone that has seen the film. 🙂 I was wondering why I wasn’t in the photo, but then remembered that I had spotted a doll that was nearly as tall as me and my nan told me she would win it for me… and she did! So I was probably with her.
      It is interesting how these little parts of our lives can have a connection or influence decades later.
      Love, Light & Blessings
      Trina ❤


    • Thank you Anita, I was stunned with this one happening! But, I know I shouldn’t have been really because of the wonderful way we all weave together, which becomes evident when we allow it to flow 🙂
      Love, Light & Blessings ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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